Comic interlude: Mom goes wild

Mom was so glad to have everyone home over the holidays she was pretty full of herself. When we made the No-Bake M&M's Clusters for Mom's cookie exchange, I noticed Dylan was pretty fired up about the M&M's we wouldn't let him eat because we needed them for the cookies. So I went to the grocery store and got him a whole bag of M&M's for a stocking stuffer. But then Dylan made the mistake of leaving the M&M's in plain sight when he went to the beach with Patrick for New Year's. Mom took that as an invitation to polish off what was left of the bag, which Dylan left more than half full. When Dylan got back from the beach and was looking for his M&M's, Mom fessed up that she had eaten them all, even though I had specifically told her not to. And I really don't think she felt all that bad about it. In fact, I'd say she was pretty proud of herself.

Mom also took great delight in a five-handed game of Hearts she played with Dylan and other members of the family. When you play five-handed, you have to take two cards out of the deck to make the numbers work. The person who takes the first trick with Hearts in it then gets the two extra cards as well. Dylan was agonizingly close to winning, but twice in a row ended up getting stuck with the Queen of Spades only because it was in among the two leftover cards when he took the first Hearts trick. The chances of that happening twice in a row are pretty astronomical, so Mom took it as a karmic sign that Dylan, who's pretty insufferable about his card playing prowess, needed to be taken down a peg. Her exact quote: "I like it when the universe lets Dylan know he's a weenie."

But the pièce de résistance came on one of Mom's Hot Yoga days. As we are all too aware by now, Mom thinks Hot Yoga is the cure for whatever ails you, even if she does frequently look like something that one of Grandma Judy's cats dragged in when she gets home from yoga. On this particular day, Mom forgot to bring clean and dry bra and panties to change into when she was done sweating up a storm in the Hot Yoga inferno. Faced with the dilemma of putting her sweaty underwear back on under the clean shirt and pants she did bring, Mom decided to go commando instead.

Wow, it's a relief the holidays are over so Mom can settle herself down a bit. Aren't you glad one of your parents is relatively normal?

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This is one of Mom's favorite side dishes. She used to make this for herself pretty often when we were having a gluten-full dinner and she needed a separate option. And it does remind me of Mom going commando for some reason. 😇

Roasted Acorn Squash with Dried Fruit and Nuts

Adapted from Cooking Light

Time: ~45 minutes

1 1½-pound acorn squash, halved through the equator and seeds and strings discarded
kosher salt
freshly ground black pepper
1½ tablespoons (22 grams) unsalted butter
1½ tablespoons (18 grams) brown sugar
2 tablespoons (20 grams) dried cranberries, cherries, or raisins
2 tablespoons (15 grams) coarsely chopped walnuts or pecans

    1. Heat the oven to 425 degrees. Line a small baking tray with foil and spray the foil with nonstick cooking spray.
    2. Cut a very thin slice off the ends of the squash halves to form flat bottoms. Sprinkle the squash cavities with a pinch of salt and a twist of freshly ground black pepper. Place halved-side down on the baking tray. Prick the tough skin lightly with a sharp paring knife. Bake until a knife poked into the flesh meets no resistance, about 25–30 minutes.
    3. Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, melt the butter with the sugar and a pinch of salt. Set aside.
    4. When the squash is tender, stir the dried fruit and nuts into the butter-sugar mixture. Invert the squash halves, and distribute the mixture evenly between the halves. Bake for 10 minutes more. Serves 2.