Treading in things

I've been reading Nigel Slater's 2003 memoir Toast: The Story of a Boy's Hunger (50 cents at the Friends of the Library book sale!). Nigel Slater is an English food writer, a "cook who writes" by his own description. He has written a number of cookbooks in addition to his food column for the Observer. Slater writes serious recipes, but let me digress for a moment and say that one of his "recipes" was chosen last summer as a "genius recipe" by the feature of the same name on Food52. Here is the essence of that recipe: Make whipped cream; crush raspberries and fold them into the whipped cream; make toast; heap the whipped cream on the warm toast; eat. This is genius like Wile E. Coyote is genius.

Toast is a memoir of Slater's childhood growing up in England, told through a series of short reminiscences centered around a particular food item ("Milk," which makes him puke, "Peas," etc.). His mother had the typically polite English way of putting things,[1] such as calling a rude person "rather coarse," instead of an asshole. Mom and I especially liked her euphemism for asking if someone had farted, "Have you trodden in something?"—whereas we coarse Americans would just come straight out and ask, "Who farted?" (Of course, that's never an issue with Mom around, since she farts volcanically, then immediately dissolves into peals of laughter like a two-year old, leaving no mystery as to whodunnit.)

Detail from the Japanese He-Gassen ("fart battle") scroll [2] at Waseda University Library

Slater used to go home from school for lunch (like Italian schoolchildren do), until his mother got sick. His mother was a bad cook, though not as bad as the school cafeteria. Slater refused to eat most of what the school served and gave it instead to a classmate who smelled like digestive biscuits and "hoovered up" everything Slater turned away, including chocolate semolina that even the vacuum cleaner boy said "looked like something that had come out of a baby's arse." (Which also brings your mother to mind, since "arse" is her favorite word, as Brad can attest.)

Reading about English food reminds me how thankful I am (and you should be too) that Grandma Pina was Italian and not English or, worse yet, German. Grandma Pina's Italian sensibilities did not, however, prevent her from allowing me to eat Cap'n Crunch,[3] which was one of the only two breakfast cereals that Slater says he would eat as a child ("You can swallow pretty much anything if it comes with a dose of sugar."). Which leads me to digression #2: America's Test Kitchen, of all things, published in Cook's Country Magazine a recipe for French toast that uses Cap'n Crunch to make a crunchy topping, which is beyond the pale even for a guy like me who grew up worshipping the good Cap'n. What's even funnier is that ATK insists that you use beautiful challah bread to make the French toast, even though you're going to coat it with the cloyingly sweet Cap'n Crunch before "frying" it in the oven.

The BBC made Toast into a film in 2010 (trailer here). I made Mom watch it last night. I found it pretty dire, but Mom liked it better than me, thankfully, so it doesn't have to go on my list with The Big Lebowski, This Is Spinal Tap, Koyaanisqatsi, et al. 

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[1] The U.S. edition of Toast includes a glossary for translating British terms for certain things into American English (e.g., "Hoovers" = vacuums), which is pretty humorous.

[2] Yes, it really is called the He-Gassen scroll, though in Mom's case She-Gas 'em would be more fitting. Also, check out the woman on the left blasting away in a downward facing dog yoga pose. How perfect is that?

[3] Ingredients: Corn Flour, Sugar, Oat Flour, Brown Sugar, Palm and/or Coconut Oil, Salt, Reduced Iron, Yellow 5, Niacinamide, Zinc Oxide, Yellow 6, Thiamin Mononitrate, BHT (a preservative), Pyridoxine Hydrochloride, Riboflavin, Folic Acid.

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I tested these truffles because they make a good Valentine's Day treat. We liked the flavors, which are from Meera Sodha's recipe and subtle, but I wasn't crazy about the method, so I turned to Alice Medrich, the master of all things chocolate, to improve the outcome. It's also Medrich's idea to use more sugar for higher percentage chocolate, and it's a good one. I tested these using the Trader Joe's 72% dark Belgian chocolate and they definitely needed a little extra sugar, especially with the bitter cocoa powder coating. Of course, you could always roll them in ground up Cap'n Crunch cereal if you really want to sweeten them up a bit.

Chai Spice Ganache Truffles

Adapted from Meera Sodha via Aberdeen News and Bittersweet (2003) by Alice Medrich

Use 1 teaspoon sugar for chocolate marked less than 66% (such as Trader Joe’s Pound Plus Dark Chocolate [54%]), or 1 tablespoon sugar for chocolate marked 66% or more (such as Trader Joe’s Pound Plus 72% Cacao Dark Chocolate). If you like your desserts sweeter than we do, you can add up to 1 additional tablespoon of sugar for chocolate marked 70% or more. You can skip the spices if you prefer plain chocolate truffles.

1 teaspoon (4 grams) or 1 tablespoon (12 grams) granulated sugar (see note)
1 teaspoon ground ginger
½ teaspoon cinnamon
¼ teaspoon ground cardamom
¼ teaspoon ground cloves
a pinch of fine sea salt
227 grams (8 ounces) dark chocolate (see note)
2 tablespoons (28 grams) unsalted butter
1 cup (232 grams) heavy cream
¼ cup (22 grams) unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tablespoon confectioners' sugar

    1. To make the ganache: In a small ramekin, stir together the sugar, ginger, cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, and salt. Chop the chocolate into small pieces, no larger than a shelled almond. Scrape into a medium bowl. Microwave for 2 minutes on 50% power. Stir with a silicone spatula. The chocolate will not be completely melted at this point; you’re just giving it a head start.
    2. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a small saucepan over medium heat. Stir in the spice mixture. Stir in the cream. Bring to a low boil, stirring almost constantly; don’t burn the cream. Immediately pour the infused cream over the chopped chocolate. Stir gently with the spatula until the chocolate is completely melted and the mixture is smooth. If you stir too vigorously or use a whisk, the truffles will come out cake-y and crumbly instead of smooth and creamy (which is still tasty, but not truffle-like). Refrigerate until the ganache is completely cooled and firm enough to scoop into balls, at least 3 hours.
    3. To form the truffles: Line a shallow storage container or baking pan with wax or parchment paper. Sift the cocoa powder and confectioner's sugar onto a dinner plate. Scrape a melon baller or a small cookie scoop measuring about 3 centimeters (1¼ inches) in diameter (a #60 [2 teaspoon] cookie scoop is ideal here) across the cold ganache to form small balls. Roll the balls in the cocoa powder and place in the prepared storage container. Cover and store in the fridge for up to 2 weeks. Makes ~24 truffles.