My other self, episode IV: the underwear king dethroned

As the three long-time readers of UaKS are aware, my other self is a Colombian underwear mogul whose wares previously dominated Google searches for "Paul Ferrer." But it looks like Señor Ferrer's business may have fallen on hard times, because his brief models, formerly ubiquitous, have pretty much disappeared from the internet. Instead, it is now yours truly who shows up right there on results pages 1 and 2, though the hits, alas, are for work stuff, rather than UaKS. (Note to my true self: time to increase the marketing budget for this blog.) I guess that pair of PAUL FERRER underwear Mom got me as a stocking stuffer in 2015 is now a collector's item.

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I've been looking for a good veggie burger recipe for a while now, but I've found most of the recipes to be too complicated and/or not all that good. Happily, this recipe appeared a few weeks ago in the Daily Progress, which has been printing some of the recipes America's Test Kitchen provides to the Associated Press (follow the link to find lots of worthwhile ATK recipes), and it's a big winner. The recipe couldn't be any easier and the burgers are delicious, especially with the Chipotle Mayo (in my opinion and Mom's; Brad and Cass love the burgers, which we've already had twice, the Chipotle Mayo not so much). Brad and Cassie took turns making this recipe with me, so they'd both know how to cook the burgers for themselves when they go back to school in the fall.

Black Bean Burgers with Chipotle Mayo

Adapted from America’s Test Kitchen via the Associated Press and the Hallmark Channel (vegan idea)

Time: 45 minutes (plus 1 hour or more resting time; the burgers can be formed, and the Chipotle Mayo made, up to 24 hours ahead)

To make vegan black bean burgers, reserve 100 grams (~6 tablespoons) of the liquid from the black beans before rinsing them, and substitute that liquid for the eggs. The original recipe calls for all-purpose flour because its "sticky amylopectin" (a starch) helps to hold the burger mix together. But glutinous white rice flour, which is made from the rice used to make "sticky" rice, has an even higher percentage of amylopectin than regular a-p flour, and it has the added benefit of being gluten free, so use that if you have any around.

Burger mix
2 (15-ounce) cans black beans, drained and rinsed (see note)
2 large eggs (~57 grams each in the shell) (see note)
2 tablespoons (17 grams) glutinous white rice flour or all-purpose flour (see note)
1 teaspoon ground cumin
1 teaspoon hot sauce (such as sambal oelek or sriracha)
½ teaspoon ground coriander
¼ teaspoon fine sea salt
¼ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
30 grams/1 ounce tortilla chips, crushed coarse (~½ cup)
4 scallions, ends trimmed, white and green parts cut into 1-inch lengths
10 grams (¼ cup packed) fresh cilantro leaves and thin stems
2 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed

Chipotle Mayo
3 tablespoons (42 grams) mayonnaise
3 tablespoons (45 grams) plain whole-milk yogurt or sour cream
1–2 tablespoons minced canned chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, to taste
1 small garlic clove, minced
⅛ teaspoon fine sea salt

To assemble
8 teaspoons sunflower or vegetable oil
6 good hamburger buns (such as Martin’s Potato Rolls or Trader Joe’s Classic Hamburger Buns), lightly toasted
Optional fixings: cheese slices; lettuce leaves; sliced tomatoes

    1. For the burger mix: Line an 18-by-13-inch baking sheet with two or three layers of paper towels. Spread the drained black beans over the towels, and dry for 15 minutes.
    2. In a large bowl, whisk the eggs, flour, cumin, hot sauce, coriander, salt, and pepper together until well combined.
    3. Place the tortilla chip pieces in the work bowl of a food processor fitted with the metal “s” blade. Process until the chips are more finely ground (they’ll never get floury), about 30 seconds. Add the scallions, cilantro, and garlic, and pulse until finely chopped, about 10–15 pulses, scraping down the sides of the bowl once or twice. Add the black beans, and pulse just until the beans are roughly broken down, about 5 pulses, moving the beans around with a spatula as needed. (Don’t overdo it or the finished burgers will be gummy.)
    4. Scrape the bean mixture into the large bowl with the egg mixture, and stir until just combined. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to 24 hours.
    5. For the Chipotle Mayo: In a small bowl, whisk all of the ingredients together until well combined. Cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or up to 24 hours. Makes ~½ cup.
    6. To assemble the burgers: Place a rack in the center of the oven and heat on the lowest setting (probably 200 degrees or "warm"). Place a wire rack in the baking sheet you used to dry the black beans.
    7. Divide the black bean mixture into 6 equal portions (use your kitchen scale if you want to be really precise). Roll and pack each portion firmly into a ball.
    8. Heat 2 teaspoons of the oil in a 10-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat. Carefully place 3 balls in the skillet, then flatten to 3½-inch-wide patties, gently pressing down on a spatula with your bare hand. Cook until the bottoms of the burgers are well browned and crisp, about 5 minutes. Flip the patties carefully. Add 2 teaspoons more oil, then shake the skillet so the oil is well distributed. Cook until the second side is also well browned and crisp, 4 to 5 minutes. If you're making cheeseburgers, lay a slice of cheese on the patties right after you flip them.
    9. When the first 3 burgers are cooked, keep them warm in the oven on the baking sheet you fitted with the wire rack. Repeat the cooking process with the remaining 3 patties and 4 teaspoons oil.
    10. To assemble the burgers, place lettuce leaves on the toasted bottom buns, followed by the tomato slices and burgers. Top with Chipotle Mayo and the second bun. Serve promptly. Makes 6 burgers.