Nobody is thinking about you

Because you spend your entire life living inside your own body and mind, it's easy to think that the world revolves around you and other people are always thinking about you too (including by laughing at your every gaffe). They're not. As Roger Rosenblatt explains in the second of his Rules for Aging (2000):

Yes, I know, you are certain that your friends are becoming your enemies; that your grocer, garbageman, clergyman, sister-in-law, and your dog are all of the opinion that you have put on weight, that you have lost your touch, that you have lost your mind; furthermore, you are convinced that everyone spends two-thirds of every day commenting on your disintegration, denigrating your work, plotting your assassination. I promise you: Nobody is thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves—just like you.

If that is any comfort to you, then you can also take heart in Rosenblatt's first rule: "It doesn't matter."

 

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I recently had 8 ounces of white button mushrooms left over from another use (a disappointing orzo dish). I didn’t want to pitch them, but I also didn’t want to sauté or roast that small amount of mushrooms. For some reason, I thought of the microwave and took a flyer. They came out surprisingly well, even without adding any of the considerable amount of oil and/or butter that is usually involved in cooking mushrooms. In fact, leaving out the fat resulted in a cleaner, more mushroom-y flavor. I think this method is a real boon if, for example, you like mushrooms on your pizza and want an easy way to cook them.

Microwave Mushrooms

Time: 12 minutes

227 grams/8 ounces cremini or white button mushrooms, cleaned and trimmed
kosher salt
freshly ground black pepper

Cut the mushrooms into ¼-inch slices. Place the slices in a small microwave-safe bowl, and cover with a small microwave-safe plate. Zap on full power for 2 minutes. Stir carefully. Zap, covered, in additional 30-second increments until the mushrooms are browned and tender to your liking. Drain off the liquid. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve as is or use as a pizza topping.