Don't have to

We recently had dinner with Andi and Adam, who told us about Carter's latest behavior. When they ask her to do something she's not particularly keen on, Carter responds, "Don't have to," then continues going on about her business. This strikes me as a wonderfully succinct summary of the new phase of life Carter is moving into, where she'll exhibit some defiant behavior as she starts forming her own opinions about things.

 

Of course, having an opinion doesn't stop when you're two, so we've taken Carter's example and made "Don't have to" the new rallying cry around here. Ask Brad a question at family dinner designed to start a conversation he's not interested in having? "Don't have to." Ask me to plan some activity I don't want to do? "Don't have to." You get the idea. For some reason, though, this has proven to be a less effective strategy for a fully formed adult than I imagine it to be for Carter.

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I recently stumbled across an article in Imbibe magazine "Digging Into the Sweet History of the Date Shake" (May 1, 2021), which was something new to me. By most accounts, the first date shakes were served around 1930 at a shop south of the evocatively named town of Thermal in California's Coachella Valley. A little more research turned up another article by Amanda Hesser, in which she said that the date shake is "as quintessentially Southern California as Malibu surf." Having been clued into this phenomenon by a friend from California, Hesser set out in search of the perfect date shake, which she finally discovered at a Los Angeles shop with the oh-so-California name of Humphrey Yogart. The secret Hesser found there was using nonfat frozen yogurt to achieve the ideal balance of "the divinely rich" with "the cloyingly sweet." Thus, Hesser's recipe specifically calls for nonfat milk and nonfat frozen yogurt.

 

Being a huge date lover, I had to give the milkshake a try right away (once I tracked down the frozen yogurt anyway), and it did not disappoint. Mom and Brad both concurred that the date shake is a refreshing treat on a hot day or night. In fact, I love this shake so much I made it the subject of one of my assignments in an online poetry class/workshop I've been taking. The assignment was to write a poem in a particular form, and I chose tanka, which is basically a haiku (3 lines with 5, 7, and 5 syllables) with two extra 7-syllable lines at the end.

 

Date Shake Tanka

Soft and sticky dates,

blended with milk, then scoops of

vanilla froyo—

caramel delight, with shards

of date cutting through the cold.

 

California Date Shake

Adapted from Amanda Hesser in Sunset Magazine (Aug. 23, 2004 article; recipe)

 

Time: ~6 minutes (+ soaking time if necessary)

 

If your dates aren’t particularly soft, you can cover them with boiling water and let them soak for 10 minutes before draining and letting them cool for about 15 minutes before proceeding with the recipe. Hesser's original recipe calls for both nonfat (i.e., skim) milk and nonfat frozen yogurt. I use plain unsweetened almond milk or oat milk, which have some fat, and it works great. The frozen yogurt is actually a little trickier, as there seems to be less of it in the supermarkets than when Hesser wrote her article in 2004. Stonyfield makes an organic whole-milk vanilla frozen yogurt, which would be fine if you can find it, as even whole-milk frozen yogurt is relatively low in fat. I found some Kemp's Fat Free Vanilla Frozen Yogurt at Giant, and that works well, though I'm not wild about the ingredient list. If you're feeling ambitious, there's a simple way to make your own frozen yogurt. Finally, the New York Times adapted Hesser's recipe and used vanilla ice cream instead of frozen yogurt (Cook’s Country does this too). Ice cream is obviously a lot richer than nonfat frozen yogurt and not in keeping with Hesser's vision of the perfect date shake, but it works well and is much easier to find at the grocery.

115 grams/4 ounces soft, pitted Medjool dates (see note)
170 grams/6 ounces (~⅔ cup) dairy or nondairy milk
340 grams/12 ounces (1 pint) vanilla frozen yogurt, preferably nonfat, or vanilla ice cream (see note)

Coarsely chop the dates (you can skip this if your blender is powerful enough and your dates are as soft as they should be). Combine the dates and milk in a blender (the largest cup of a bullet-style blender works well), and blend until relatively smooth; there will be some small date shards left. Scoop in the frozen yogurt and blend until smooth; you may have to stop and stir with a long spoon once or twice. Pour into two glasses, pre-chilled if possible. Makes ~3 cups, serving 2 generously.