Gathering the shards

Of the happiness-enhancing activities I've tried over the years, running every day has provided the biggest bang for my buck. But running requires staying healthy, which can be a challenge even when I'm just sitting on my ass at work. Other than running, the practice I've stayed with the longest is Three Good Things, which is one way of just noticing delights. The way I've done this practice the last few years is to sit down every night right before going to bed and write down in a notebook three to five good things that happened to me that day. These don't have to be big things, even small delights like seeing a hummingbird feeding at the plants outside counts. The benefit of doing this practice at night is I have to look back through my day to figure out what the little (or big) delights were. After a while, I started looking for delights throughout my day, which has proven crucial for me in turning a generally negative outlook on life into a generally positive one.

I recently read Bittersweet (2021) by Susan Cain, who described a wonderful metaphor for this practice from the Kabbalah,

the mystical version of Judaism which teaches that all of creation was once a vessel filled with holy light. But it shattered, and now the shards of divinity are scattered everywhere, amidst the pain and ugliness. ... Sometimes it’s too dark to see them, sometimes we’re too distracted by pain or conflict. But our task is simple—to bend down, dig them out, pick them up. And in so doing, to perceive that light can emerge from darkness, death gives way to rebirth, the soul descends to this riven world for the sake of learning how to ascend. And to realize that we all notice different shards; I might see a lump of coal, but you spot the gold glimmering beneath.

I love this image so much. Now, instead of just looking for delights everywhere, I'm also gathering the shards of holiness that are scattered all around us. When I see a shard and pick it up, it's a little moment of transcendence.

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These cookies are full of shards of goodness, in the form of hand-chopped bittersweet chocolate. Unlike chocolate chips, which are stabilized so as to hold their shape through the baking process, hand-chopped chocolate melts into different sized pools of deliciousness that re-form as the cookies cool. I have long resisted posting any other chocolate chip cookie recipe because they invariably pale in comparison to the undisputed greatness of Katherine Redford's Chocolate Chip Cookies. But these are a little easier to make (no mixer required) and a very different CCC experience, given their heavenly size, chewy texture, and pools of bittersweet chocolatey goodness. All of my tasters thought they at least approached (Mom thinks they're better) the exalted level of KR's, which is a mouthful.

Tara O'Brady's Chocolate Chip Cookies

Adapted from from Seven Spoons (2015) by Tara O’Brady (May 1, 2019) and Food52 Genius Recipes

Time: ~40 minutes (through the first pan)

I halved the original recipe. If you want to make a double recipe, the quantities are: 2 sticks of butter; 340 grams chocolate; 415 grams flour; 1½ teaspoons kosher salt; 1¼ teaspoons baking powder; 1 teaspoon baking soda; 320 grams brown sugar; 100 grams white sugar; 2 large eggs; and 2 teaspoons vanilla extract.

1 stick (113 grams/4 ounces) unsalted butter, quartered lengthwise then cut across into ½-inch chunks
170 grams (6 ounces) semisweet or bittersweet chocolate (I love Trader Joe’s Pound Plus 72% Cacao Dark Chocolate)
208 grams (~1¾ cups) all-purpose flour
¾ teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt
⅝ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon baking soda
160 grams (~¾ cup) packed light brown sugar
50 grams (¼ cup) granulated white sugar
1 large egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

    1. Place a rack in the center of the oven; heat to 360 degrees. Line two 13-by-18-inch half-sheet pans with parchment paper.
    2. Melt the butter in a small saucepan over low heat. Take it off the heat just before the butter is completely melted; you’re trying not to boil off any of the water (butter is ~20% water).
    3. While the butter is melting, use a serrated knife to chop the chocolate into chunks no larger than ¼- to ½-inch, with some smaller pieces.
    4. In a small bowl, whisk together the flour, salt, baking powder, and baking soda.
    5. Place the melted butter in a large bowl. Whisk in the sugars. Whisk in the egg, just to combine, then the vanilla.
    6. Dump the flour mixture into the butter mixture. Using a silicone spatula, stir until the flour is mostly mixed in. Add the chocolate, and stir until just combined and no streaks of flour remain.
    7. If the dough feels warm or looks overly glossy, park it in the fridge for 5 minutes. For each cookie, scoop 3 tablespoons (~55 grams) of the dough—a #20 disher (Oxo large cookie scoop) is perfect for this job; if you don’t have one, roll the dough into a ball between your palms. Repeat, placing 7 dough balls ~3 inches apart on the first sheet pan.
    8. Bake, rotating the pan after 6 minutes, until the tops of the cookies are cracked and lightly golden, about 12 minutes, but start checking at 10. When the cookies are done, the tops should feel puffed and soft in the middle; if the centers are firm, the cookies are overbaked. (While the first batch is baking, scoop the remaining cookie dough onto the second sheet pan.)
    9. Transfer the sheet pan to a wire rack and leave for 2 minutes. Then remove the cookies from the pan with a spatula and cool completely on the wire rack.
    10. Repeat the baking process with the other sheet pan.
    11. Store leftover cookies in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 1 week. Makes 14 3½-inch cookies.