Happiness hacks gone awry

When The Happiness Lab pisses you off, where is there to go? To begin, happiness "strategies" and "practices" are okay, but can we all agree to lose the ubiquitous "hacks" [1] for a while?

 

At least that expression has a far less disturbing provenance that "drinking the Kool-Aid," which Dr. Laurie's yogi buddy advocated while discussing, of all things, ahimsa through nonviolence of speech, mindless that more than 900 people died drinking the poisoned Flavor Aid [2] at Jonestown. Ponder that breathing intentionally through your asanas.

Dr. Laurie herself hit closest to home during the recent episode "With Elmo’s Help … It’s Never Too Early to Learn About Happiness." [3] Dr. Laurie offered the following happiness "hack" for engaging in more compassionate self-talk: When you're stuck in a ruminative loop, telling yourself "you suck" or some such, take a moment to give that thought a name. For example, Dr. Laurie and her Yale students [4] use Karen, because "Karen is like a mean person's name." Then you talk back to "Karen," saying "Oh yeah, Karen, you're saying I'm bad today. Thank you for trying to help." This is the opposite of happiness inducing for all the wonderful Karens in the world, one of whom we know has spent her entire adult life helping children at least as much as Elmo.

 

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[1] Look everyone, it's the "51 kitchen and food hacks that will change your life"! If you're not convinced that reusing pickle brine or wetting your fingers to remove stray eggshell will "change your life," join the club.

[2] It was reportedly not Kool-Aid but Flavor Aid, which tests the limits of whether there really is no such thing as bad publicity.

[3] Do we really subject our children to Elmo's voice, which I've seen described as "a sonic desecration ..., the most piercing, grating character voice in all of children's television"?

[4] Shame on you, Elis. 

 

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As written, this dish is not for all of you, given that coconut milk is a star ingredient. I have read that you can substitute other kinds of nondairy milk for coconut milk, including soy, almond, and oat, but I haven't tried it. Of those three, oat milk has the most fat and is the creamiest, so I'd say it's the best bet. You will be missing out on the pronounced coconut flavor of this dish, though, which is one of its charms. Brad is a big proponent of this dish, which Mom and I also really enjoyed the couple of times we've had it.

 

Rice Pilau with Tomato, Coconut, and Cashews

Adapted from Meera Sodha from East (2019) and the Guardian (Aug. 3, 2019)

Time: ~1 hour

We leave the chile out for Mom’s benefit and it still tastes great without it.

350 grams (~1¼ cups) white basmati or jasmine rice
2 tablespoons olive or canola oil
5 centimeters / 2 inches cinnamon stick
12 fresh curry leaves, optional
1 medium-large onion, finely sliced
50 grams (~½ cup) raw cashews
4 cloves of garlic, crushed, or sliced for more garlic flavor
1 green finger (or serrano) chile, finely sliced (see note)
455 grams / 1 pound grape tomatoes, halved
One 14-ounce can of coconut milk (we use full-fat; you can try subbing evaporated milk or oat milk)
200 grams (~⅞ cup) water
1¾ teaspoons fine sea salt

    1. Place the rice in a large sieve and rinse the rice under cold running water until the water is relatively clear. Transfer to a medium bowl and cover with cold water; leave to soak while you continue with the recipe.
    2. Heat the oil in a 12-inch or larger skillet or sauté pan that has a tight-fitting lid. Add the cinnamon stick and curry leaves, if using. Stir-fry for 1 minute. Stir in the onion, and cook until it is golden brown and very soft, 10 to 12 minutes.
    3. Stir in the cashews, garlic, and chile, and cook for a few minutes. Stir in the tomatoes, then cover the pan and cook until the tomatoes are soft and jammy, about 8 minutes.
    4. Drain the rice using the large sieve. Add to the pan and stir until coated with oil and tomato juices. Stir in the coconut milk, water, and salt. Bring to a boil, cover the pan, then turn down the heat down to maintain the barest simmer (a few bubbles here and there) and cook for 15 minutes. Remove from the heat and let steam, still with the lid on, for 10 minutes. Serve with a green salad. Serves 4.