The good life, part I: date night

One of my top candidates for best read of the year is The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness (2023) by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz. The book is a summary of all the lessons that the authors have drawn from the Harvard Study of Adult Development, which started in 1939. Incredibly, the lessons all boil down to one overarching principle, well summarized in this passage from the book:

[I]f we had to take all eighty-four years of the Harvard Study and boil it down to a single principle for living, one life investment that is supported by similar findings across a wide variety of other studies, it would be this: Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period. So if you’re going to make that one choice, that single decision that could best ensure your own health and happiness, science tells us that your choice should be to cultivate warm relationships. Of all kinds.

The book goes through the evidence and suggests some ways to foster your relationships "of all kinds," including intimate partnerships, family, and friendships.

 

With regard to the first category, it's easy to get into a rut, so I loved their idea to "[p]lan a weekly date night and take turns choosing what you will do (and maybe surprise your partner with a new activity if a surprise would be welcome)."* Mom and I implemented that suggestion last month, and it's been really fun planning things to do with each other. This morning, we got out for a long walk around downtown and then down Main Street to UVA and back to take in all of the Fall colors.

 

---------

*Research from the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia shows that "couples who devote time specifically to one another at least once a week are markedly more likely to enjoy high-quality relationships and lower divorce rates, compared to couples who do not devote much couple time to one another." W. Bradford Wilcox & Jeffrey Dew, "The Date Night Opportunity: What Does Couple Time Tell Us About the Potential Value of Date Nights?" (2012).

 

 

 

 

*********

 

This recipe is something that may not have much appeal to anyone but Mom and me, but I've been making this tuna salad for us regularly so it's time to post it for my own benefit if nothing else. I love the first tuna salad on UaKS, but this one is a little simpler to make and veers away from the traditional mayo base in favor of olive oil, which I like. I also enjoy that it gets its crunch from roasted almonds (or pine nuts) instead of the usual celery, which I don't often have around anyway, and that it has a nice acid kick from the pepperoncini and balsamic vinegar.

 

Tuna Salad with Pepperoncini

Adapted from Toby Cecchini via the New York Times Magazine (Sept. 5, 2004)

Time: ~13 minutes

You can buy fresh pepperoncini peppers (or substitute banana peppers), but the easiest thing is just to buy pickled pepperoncini in a jar.
 

1 (5- to 6-ounce) can good-quality solid tuna packed in olive oil, drained or not, your call (see the next ingredient)
27 grams (2 tablespoons) olive oil, or the oil the tuna was packed in, or a combination
3 pepperoncini peppers, destemmed and sliced into rounds (see note)
1 scallion, finely chopped
1½ tablespoons chopped fresh dill (if you have it; otherwise, sub parsley or some other herb, or not)
2 tablespoons (15 grams) roasted or smoked almonds, roughly chopped, or toasted pine nuts
1½ teaspoons (8 grams) smooth Dijon mustard
1½ teaspoons (8 grams) whole-grain mustard (Trader Joe's is good)
½ teaspoon balsamic vinegar
½ teaspoon fresh lemon juice or more to taste
a pinch of salt
freshly ground black pepper to taste

In a small bowl, mix all of the ingredients together with a fork. Taste for acid, salt, and pepper. Eat as is, or serve on a green salad or on toasted bread or in a tuna sandwich or tuna melt. The salad will keep for up to 3 days in the fridge. Makes ~2 cups, serving 1 or 2. The recipe can easily be doubled.