Conversation starters, Mom style

After a recent dinner, Brad complained that our conversations are always the same, that is, boring ("How's work?"; bad political news, etc.). There are plenty of conversation starters available on the internet, so I clipped some out and stuck them in a jar on our table for when the need arises.

 

The ultimate conversation starters are the 36 deep questions developed by social psychologist Arthur Aron and colleagues. Their now famous paper is titled "The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings." But the method they developed to generate "interpersonal closeness" is better known as the "fast friends" procedure. An article in the New York Times "Modern Love" series ("To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This") that went viral in 2015 described how the author and a "university acquaintance" fell in love going through the 36 questions together.

The 36 questions start out comparatively tame (question #1: "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?"), but they get much deeper as you move through the 3 sets of 12 questions each. The penultimate question is, "Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?"

 

I cut this one out and put it in the conversation starter jar, along with the rest of the 36 questions that seemed appropriate (and some much easier ones). Mom saw this one while I was clipping the questions and said, "This one is too easy; everyone would pick me." When I raised an eyebrow at her, Mom doubled down, as is her wont, and said, "C'mon, you know they would." So, I guess there will be no need to bring out question #35 at any of our family dinners, since the answer is that obvious.

 

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Mom looks for this recipe every couple of years and can never find it, so it was overdue to be posted. To her great credit, Mom was put out that the original recipe didn't give any weights (UaKS, baby). That makes it especially irritating to measure things like the mayo and honey, which are so much easier to weigh out. This feeds a pretty good crowd as a side, so a nice choice for an Easter brunch.

 

Waldorf Salad

Adapted from The Best of America’s Test Kitchen (2010)

Time:

You can skip the dried fruit and step 1 of the recipe by substituting 1 cup halved seedless red grapes.

115 grams (¾ cup) dried cherries, cranberries, or raisins (see note)
59 grams (¼ cup) water
75 grams (⅓ cup) mayonnaise
45 grams (3 tablespoons) cider vinegar
21 grams (1 tablespoon) honey
4 sweet apples (like Gala or Honeycrisp), cored and cut into ½-inch pieces
2 Granny Smith apples, cored and cut into ½-inch pieces
3 celery ribs, finely chopped (~2 cups)
80 grams (¾ cup) pecans or walnuts, toasted and chopped
Diamond Crystal kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper

    1. Place the dried fruit and water in a small bowl. Cover with a small plate or plastic wrap. Zap in a microwave on full power until the water starts to boil, 1 minute or more depending on your microwave. Set aside while you prepare the apples and nuts.
    2. In a large bowl, whisk together the mayo, vinegar, and honey. Add the apples, celery, dried fruit, and nuts. Using a spatula or large spoon, toss to combine. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Toss again. Cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes and up to 2 days. Serves 6.