Pizza math

Do you want the best deal when you're buying pizza? Simple math says always get the biggest pie. Dr. Ho's Humble Pie is the best pizza in the C-ville area (unless you want real Neapolitan style from Lampo, but Lampo's pies are one size fits all, so they won't work for this exercise anyway), so we'll use Dr. Ho's to do the math.

 

The formula for calculating the area of a circle is, fittingly, 𝜋r². Setting aside the 10-inch "gluten friendly" pies, Dr. Ho's offers its specialty pizzas in two sizes: 14 inches for $22.75, and 16 inches for $24.75. The area of a 14-inch pizza is about 154 square inches. The area of a 16-inch pizza is about 201 square inches. That's about 30% more pizza for 8.8% more money.* Just those two extra inches get you way more cheesy delicious goodness for your buck. If you don't want to eat it all, split it with a friend; who doesn't love pizza?

 

And what about the gluten friendly pies? The area of a 10-inch pizza is about 79 square inches. A 10-inch specialty pizza goes for $17.50. So even compared to a lower value 14-inch pie, you're getting about half the pizza for about three-quarters of the price. Compared to a 16-inch pie, you're getting about 39% of the pizza for about 71% of the price! The GF penalty rears its ugly head.

 

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*Feel free to check my math. I never would have made it through my intro stats class at Hopkins without your mother.

 

Photo by Chad Montano on Unsplash

  

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If I had planned this out better, I'd have a pizza recipe to post here ... but I don't. Oh, well. Instead, I have a recipe for a simple chickpea salad which you can eat on the side if you feel like you need something healthy to go with all that extra pizza you'll be buying and eating now that we've done the pizza math. You can throw this salad together in about 20 minutes without having to cook anything, which is especially good when it's as hot as it's been and will continue to be for the rest of the week. 

Chickpea Salad

Adapted from Kristina Felix via NYT Cooking (May 23, 2025)

Time: ~20 minutes

45 grams (3 tablespoons) freshly squeezed lemon juice
15 grams (1 tablespoon) white vinegar
7 grams (1 teaspoon) honey or maple syrup
1 garlic clove, grated or pureed with a knife
1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal Kosher salt
up to ½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
½ of a small red onion (~1 cup when diced)
2 (15-ounce) cans chickpeas, drained and rinsed
½ of an English cucumber (~1 cup when diced)
1 medium tomato (~1 cup when diced)
¼ cup chopped parsley
¼ cup chopped dill, or other mix of herbs (like oregano and tarragon)
40 grams (3 tablespoons) extra-virgin olive oil

To serve
Warm pita and/or rice
Za’atar

    1. In a large bowl, whisk together the lemon juice, vinegar, honey, garlic, salt, and pepper. Dice the red onion and add it to the bowl so the onion pickles a little while you prep the rest of the ingredients.
    2. Place the chickpeas in a small bowl. Microwave on high power until warm, about 1 minute. Set aside to cool.
    3. Dice the cucumber and tomato, and chop the herbs.
    4. Add the chickpeas, cucumber, tomato, and herbs to the bowl. Toss until evenly coated, then drizzle over the oil and toss again.
    5. Taste for seasoning. Serve over rice and/or with warm pita, sprinkled to taste with za’atar. Store in the fridge, in an airtight container, for up to 5 days. Serves 6 as a side salad, 3–4 as dinner with the pita and rice.