Flipping fartgate

A few weeks ago, Mom and I watched a segment on The Daily Show in which they tried to figured out who was responsible for an audible fart caught on-mic while Chris Matthews of MSNBC was interviewing Eric Swalwell, the Democratic congressman from California and short-lived presidential candidate. Trevor Noah made the case that Matthews must have been the culprit because the same thing has happened during other shows that Matthews was moderating, when Swalwell was not the guest. Mom rarely laughs out loud while watching TV or a movie, but with her adolescent sense of humor, you can imagine how much she guffawed during this segment each time she has viewed it then and since.

Last night, Mom did her best Chris Matthews impersonation while Brad was shooting a video of me executing the flip while frying an egg over easy. There, nine seconds in, you can hear Mom's gaseous contribution to your culinary educations. Not that Mom would try to deny it, given how proud she is of her flatulence, but the proof that it was her is right there in the video, when you here Cassie ID the perp: "Mother!! Look at her try not to laugh!" [1] You can see how flustered I was, because the first flip was relatively well executed—under control and not too high so as not to break the yolk—while the second flip was wild and nearly disastrous. Could you imagine if someone pulled this kind of stunt while Gordon Ramsay was demonstrating a technique in his kitchen?



---------

[1] In the law, we call this an "excited utterance," which is considered so inherently reliable that it is a recognized exception to the usual rule against admitting hearsay evidence. Rule 803(2) of the Federal Rules of Evidence defines an "excited utterance" as "[a] statement relating to a startling event or condition, made while the declarant was under the stress of excitement that it caused," which accurately describes the circumstances under which Cassie uttered the statement in question.

*********

Until recently, I've always fried my farm-fresh eggs from Free Union Grass Farm sunny side up. My preferred method of doing that requires an 8-inch nonstick skillet with a lid, to make sure the whites are cooked through on top, without basting them constantly with the hot fat. But I switched to an Oxo 8-inch nonstick skillet not long ago, and while it's the best nonstick pan ever, none of my lids fits it well. So I decided to start frying my eggs over easy, which has two advantages in addition to not requiring a lid. First, it eliminates any chance of there being any goopy, raw egg white. And second, I get to flip the eggs not once, but twice, which, when done without a spatula, provides a surprisingly satisfying moment of Zen in my day (as long as Mom is not around while I'm doing the flipping). 

Fried Eggs Over Easy

Time: <6 minutes

If you’re not using farm-fresh eggs or don’t like a very runny yolk, after flipping the egg(s) the first time, cook to your desired doneness (over medium for slightly runny yolk, over hard for fully cooked yolk).

a pat of butter (½ tablespoon/7 grams per egg)
1 or 2 large eggs
kosher salt
freshly ground black pepper

    1. Place the butter in an 8-inch nonstick skillet over medium heat or just a smidge higher.
    2. Meanwhile, crack the egg(s) into a very small cup.
    3. When the butter has melted and stopped foaming, tilt the pan to spread the butter evenly across the bottom. Pour in the eggs. Season with a pinch of salt and a grind or two of black pepper. Cook until the whites are just set on top but not hard, about 2 minutes.
    4. Using a spatula or a flick of your wrist, gently flip the egg(s). Cook for 10 seconds (see note), then flip back to the other side.
    5. Slide the egg(s) onto a plate. Serve immediately with crusty bread or toast to sop up the runny yolk.