You can do evil and get off scot-free

If you're wondering what your next (or first) job should be, let me direct your attention to ransomware. In May 2019, the cybercriminals behind the GandCrab ransomware attacks announced they were terminating the program because they had earned so much money (north of $2 billion, with weekly income of $2.5 million) that they could retire on a beach somewhere. Their master plan certainly worked out better for them than it did for Hans Gruber.

 

 

 

But just like Hans Gruber, these criminals had a sense of humor. In their farewell notice, the crooks said:

We ourselves have earned over US $150 million in one year. This money has been successfully cashed out and invested in various legal projects, both online and offline ones. It has been a pleasure to work with you. But, like we said, all things come to an end. We are getting a well-deserved retirement. We are a living proof that you can do evil and get off scot-free. We have proved that one can make a lifetime of money in one year. We have proved that you can become number one by general admission, not in your own conceit

So there it is: You can make a lifetime of money in one year if you choose the right career path. Choose wisely.

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And speaking of evil: I've been running with great pleasure past the empty holes where the statutes of Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson used to pollute the views of downtown Charlottesville. Ben Hitchcock, the editor of C-ville Weekly, was apparently having the same thought, because he wrote in the August 4 – 10 issue how glad he was to be able to eat his lunch in what is now Market Street Park (formerly Lee Park) next to the raggedly little garden that has sprouted up where Lee's statute used to be, "rather than in the shadow of a racist monument." In addition to the makeshift garden, Hitchcock also appreciated the sidewalk graffiti reading "Fuck Robert E. Lee and the horse he rode out on." Which proves that graffiti artists can be just as funny as (and have better grammar than) cybercriminals.

 

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You can be right or you can be married

In Episode 485, I relayed a favorite bit of relationship wisdom I had then recently heard: "When you disagree with a smart person, you are wrong 50% of the time." But now I've run across a corollary (superseding principle?) that is even better. Best of all, it comes from Terry Real,[1] a therapist [2] and author who Mom is a huge fan of, so there's no arguing with this one. Here it is:

You can be right or you can be married. 

54 and still beautiful

Last week, Mom had to test a kid at Burley, where her friend Leigh Ann works. Mom needed to tell Leigh Ann something, but she wasn't in her room when Mom looked for her. So Mom told another teacher in the room—a striking young blond woman—to tell Leigh Ann that Karen had been by to see her. When Leigh Ann got back, the young teacher told her that someone she had never seen before was looking for Leigh Ann. She couldn't remember Mom's name, so she described her as tall, with thick hair, and "beautiful." Which made Mom's whole day, as you can imagine. Another 2½ years gone by, but you've still got it baby!

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This was the best meal I've made in a while, a restaurant-quality dish that cost less than $15 to make and serves 4 people easily. Mom skipped right past her usual "heavenly" descriptor for my really good meals and instead pronounced it "infuckingcredible." The homemade pappardelle definitely contributed to the quality of the dish, but I'm sure it would still be very good with store-bought pasta.

Homemade Spelt Pappardelle with Quick Sausage Ragù 

Quick Sausage Ragù with Pasta

Adapted from The Best Simple Recipes (2013) by America’s Test Kitchen

Time: 35 minutes

I used mild Italian sausage links from Free Union Grass Farm, which I think was key here. The heritage breed pigs run around free in the woods at the farm, so the sausage is not particularly fatty. If you use a very fatty sausage, the fat will not cook off and the ragù will probably be too greasy. 

1 tablespoon olive oil
1 medium (4–6 ounces) onion, diced
2 plump garlic cloves, minced
1 pound mild Italian sausage, casings removed (see note)
½ cup dry white wine, preferably Sauvignon Blanc
1 (28-ounce) can diced tomatoes
1 tablespoon fine sea salt
1 pound gemelli, ziti, penne, or fusilli, or Homemade Spelt Pappardelle
½ cup (1 ounce) freshly grated Parmesan or Grano Padano cheese, more for serving
¼ cup chiffonade of fresh basil, if it's available in your garden
Freshly ground black pepper to taste

    1. Bring 4 quarts of water to a roiling boil in a large stockpot.
    2. Meanwhile, heat the oil in a large saucier or sauté pan over medium heat. Stir in the onion and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion is softened but not browned, about 5 minutes. Stir in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds.
    3. Add the sausage to the pan and cook until just cooked through, about 4 minutes. While the sausage cooks, break it into small pieces using a wooden spoon (a wooden scraping spoon with a flat edge at the top works especially well if you have one).
    4. Add the wine and cook until it is mostly evaporated, about 2–3 minutes. Stir in the tomatoes and their juice and cook, stirring occasionally, until the sauce has thickened some, about 8–10 minutes.
    5. Around when you add the tomatoes to the sauce, add the salt to the boiling water and stir until dissolved. Add the pasta and stir well for about 30 seconds. Cook until al dente, stirring occasionally. Drain the pasta, reserving a mugful of the cooking water.
    6. Transfer the drained pasta to a large serving bowl or back into the stockpot you cooked the pasta in. Add the sauce and toss to combine. Add the Parmesan and basil, if using, and toss again. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Adjust the consistency as needed with some of the pasta cooking water. Serve promptly, passing additional Parmesan at the table. Serves 4.