Saturday, March 6, 2021

What is ... the only thing Nureyev and Joe Schultz had in common?

During Mom and Cassie's legendary trip to the DMV, I clued Mom in to the lifelong bit of knowledge I first learned from Joe Schultz, manager of the now-defunct Seattle Pilots baseball franchise, via one of my all-time favorite books, Ball Four by Jim Bouton. That little tidbit is that, if you're going to be uttering them both anyway, it is much more effective and pleasurable to use "shit" and "fuck" as one word, in all of their possible combinations, than it is to keep them separate. This was recently confirmed for me while reading Alex Trebek's The Answer Is ... Reflections on My Life (2020).
 
One of the anecdotes Trebek recounted in the book (which is very entertaining and a must-read for Jeopardy! fans) concerned a time when he was in the wings with the young ballerinas of the Canadian Ballet (which Trebek introduced while he was working for the Canadian Broadcasting Company long before becoming the Jeopardy! host), with which the famous Soviet ballet dancer Rudolf Nureyev was performing. Trebek and the ballerinas were studying Nureyev carefully, "all of us marveling at his grace and athleticism as he pirouetted effortlessly around the stage." But then, when Nureyev got closer to Trebek and the ballerinas, they could hear him muttering, with each spin, loud enough for them but not the audience to hear, "Fuck shit! Fuck shit! Fuck shit! Fuck shit!" They were all shocked by it,* but it just makes me sad. Imagine going your whole life saying "Fuck shit!" over and over and over again, thereby denying yourself the deep satisfaction of using a single blended word and, more importantly, switching effortlessly between "fuckshit" and "shitfuck." I guess Nureyev wasn't a baseball fan.
 
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* More shocking to me for some reason was "Revelation #1" on page 4 of The Answer Is ...: "Alex Trebek swears."
 
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Cassie is a loyal fan of Salmon with Asian Barbecue Glaze, while Dylan is partial to Blackened Salmon, which is used to good effect in Minimalist Salmon Tacos, so I'm not sure anyone will want to switch from the tried and true. But trust me, this recipe yields some of the best (and easiest) salmon yet. Coating the top and sides of the salmon with mayonnaise before a short stint under the broiler makes for the juiciest salmon I've had. The added bonus is that you can also add flavor by playing around with the seasonings you mix into the mayo (harissa, chipotle, sriracha, and sambal oelek are just some of the options). In fact, I would say this Chile-Lime Mayo definitely gives the Chipotle Mayo that goes with everyone's favorite Black Bean Burgers a run for its money.

Chile-Lime Mayo



Broiled Salmon with Chile-Lime Mayo

Adapted from Daniel Gritzer via Serious Eats

Time: ~18 minutes

This recipe makes enough chile-lime mayo to coat at least two pounds of fish, but the quantities are awkward to halve. The leftover would be good on other things, including various kinds of burgers. Serve with couscous for a really quick and healthy meal.

55 grams (¼ cup) good mayonnaise
1½ teaspoons (8 grams) harissa, sriracha, sambal oelek chile paste, or minced chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, more or less to taste
Zest of half a lime + 1 teaspoon fresh lime juice
⅛ teaspoon ground coriander or smoked paprika
Kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
1 pound (450 grams) boneless center-cut salmon fillet, with or without skin, either whole or divided into individual portions

    1. Position an oven rack about 6 inches below the broiler element; heat the broiler. Line a 13-by-9-inch quarter-sheet pan with aluminum foil. Spray the foil lightly with nonstick spray.
    2. For the Chile-Lime Mayo: In a small bowl, stir together the mayo, whatever chile ingredient you’re using, lime zest and juice, and coriander. Season with a pinch of salt and pepper. Taste and adjust the flavor as desired.
    3. Season the salmon lightly with salt and pepper. Place the salmon on the prepared baking sheet, skin side down. Rub a thin, even layer of the chile-mayo all over the top and sides of the salmon.
    4. Broil until the salmon is dappled brown on top and the interior is cooked to your liking, 115 to 125 degrees for medium-rare to medium, measured on an instant-read thermometer, about 5 or 6 minutes (but watch carefully; see below). You can also test for doneness like the chefs do: Poke the tip of a paring knife into the center of the fish, then touch the side of the knife—not the point, doofus—between your chin and lower lip; it’ll feel warm if the salmon is medium-rare, hot if the fish is medium and cooked through. (Don’t overcook the salmon; it’ll be tough.) If the salmon is well-browned on top before the center is cooked to your liking, just turn the broiler off and let it continue cooking until done, which shouldn’t take more than a few minutes at most. Serve immediately. Serves 2.

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