Dank af, episode II

A few years ago, I started making some of my own nut butters, our favorite of which, Pecan-Rosemary Butter, Dylan made and declared to be "dank af." Happily, that means excellent rather than gross like a moldy basement in the middle of a swelteringly hot and humid East Coast summer. I recently came across these two very interesting looking nut butters, so I broke out the food processor and made them both one after the other. They were both a big hit with all three of the testers, one of whom (Mom) has been snarfing them right out of the containers by the spoonful. Brad enjoyed some of the Banana Bread Walnut Butter on his vanilla ice cream while re-watching Stranger Things 1 (it's better the second time!). I like them both on whole-wheat toast, and they'd be good on banana or zucchini bread, but spread on a Bodo's bagel may be the ultimate use.

Banana Bread Walnut Butter

Adapted from Sohla El-Waylly via Food52 (April 5, 2021)

Time: ~20 minutes

 

Freeze-dried bananas (and other fruit) are also good for making a "super-thick and fruity food processor whipped cream" that is good for spreading on real banana bread. You can probably substitute a neutral-flavored oil like sunflower for the butter.

215 grams (~2 cups) raw walnut halves and/or pieces
42 grams (3 tablespoons) unsalted butter (see note)
45 grams (~1 cup) freeze-dried bananas
½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
A pinch of freshly ground nutmeg
70 grams (⅓ cup) dark brown sugar
1½ teaspoons vanilla extract
1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt

    1. Place a rack in the center of the oven; heat to 300 degrees.
    2. Spread the walnuts across a rimmed baking sheet (if you have one, a 13-by-9-inch quarter sheet pan is the perfect size). Roast until the nuts are fragrant and slightly darkened, about 5 to 8 minutes, shaking the pan once after a few minutes. Nuts burn quickly, so watch carefully.
    3. Meanwhile, melt the butter in a small skillet or saucepan over medium heat, then cook, swirling occasionally, until the butter smells nutty and the milk solids are light golden brown, about 3 to 4 minutes total.
    4. Transfer the toasted walnuts to the bowl of a food processor fitted with the metal “s” blade. Add the bananas, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Process until the nuts have released their oil and the nut butter is completely smooth and glossy, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Be patient; you want to go past just smooth all the way to glossy, which will take about 4 minutes or more.
    5. Add the brown butter, sugar, vanilla, and salt to the walnut butter and process until smooth and combined.
    6. Store in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks at room temperature or 2 months in the fridge. Stir well before eating. Makes ~2 cups.

Almond, Chocolate, and Coconut Butter

Adapted from Sohla El-Waylly via Food52 (April 5, 2021)

Time: ~28 minutes

This recipe is supposed to taste this like an Almond Joy chocolate bar in spreadable form.

275 grams (~2 cups) whole raw almonds
30 grams (~¾ cup) dried, unsweetened shredded coconut
170 grams (1 cup) milk chocolate chips
25 grams (2 tablespoons) virgin coconut oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt

    1. Place a rack in the center of the oven; heat to 300 degrees.
    2. Spread the almonds across a rimmed baking sheet (if you have one, a 13-by-9-inch quarter sheet pan is the perfect size). Roast until the nuts are fragrant and slightly darkened, about 15 to 18 minutes. Nuts burn quickly, so watch carefully.
    3. Meanwhile, spread the shredded coconut across a smaller rimmed baking sheet (if you have one, a 9-by-6½-inch eighth sheet pan is the perfect size). Roast until the coconut is light golden brown, about 4 to 6 minutes; watch carefully and don’t overdo it (see the photo above).
    4. Transfer the toasted almonds to the bowl of a food processor fitted with the metal “s” blade. Process until the nuts have released their oil and the nut butter is completely smooth and glossy, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Be patient; you want to go past just smooth all the way to glossy, which will take about 5 minutes or more.
    5. Add the chocolate chips, coconut oil, vanilla, and salt to the almond butter and process until smooth.
    6. Transfer to a 2-cup or larger airtight container and stir in the toasted coconut. Seal and store for up to 2 weeks at room temperature or 2 months in the fridge. Stir well before eating. Makes ~2 cups.