“I'm not a cat”

Nobody says we lawyers are techno-wizards. You've probably all already seen the viral video of this Texas lawyer's faux-paw, in which he attended a video Zoom hearing with his secretary's cat filter on and didn't know how to turn it off. If not, here it is:

 

The best part is the other two lawyers looking bored through the whole thing and not even cracking a smile. Humorless nerds.

The video quickly made the rounds through my work email. The best response was this one from one of my colleagues:

Hmm, sounds like my colleague is accusing the cat of purr•jury. 🤣

 

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The last carrot dish I posted—a simple, uncooked carrot salad—has been a huge bust so far, at least in terms of generating page views (not that I ever have that many anyway). I doubt this one is going to get prepared all that much either, given that it takes about 45 minutes just for a side dish. (It's not difficult; it just takes a while to peel and cut 1½ pounds of carrots and then cook them as directed.) But what a dish! These glazed carrots easily merited Mom's highest food classification, plus the extra comment that she had no idea carrots could taste this good. As for me, these are the best carrots I've ever eaten, including restaurant meals and Roasted Carrot and Red Lentil Ragout. In fact, this is one of the best side dishes I've ever eaten, including restaurant meals, period. The recipe says it serves 4 to 6 as a side, but that's laughable. Mom and I have had this three times in the past six months or so, and each time we scarfed the whole lot by ourselves, then licked our plates clean, even though we had main dishes with the carrots. 

 

Glazed Carrots with Almonds

Adapted from The Food Lab (2015) by J. Kenji López-Alt

Time: 40 to 45 minutes

You're trying to cut the carrots into as evenly sized pieces as you can so they all cook at the same rate. That's easier to do if you can find carrots that don't taper too much from the thick to the thin end. That also makes it easier to use the roll cut (or faux tourné, if we’re being fancy) to make your carrots prettier, if you're so inclined. If your carrots do taper quite a bit, you'll have to cut the thicker pieces in half lengthwise to create more even pieces. This has turned out well using broth made from both homemade Vegetable Broth Base and Better Than Bouillon Seasoned Vegetable Base.

1½ pounds carrots, peeled and cut or roll cut into 1-inch cylinders or pieces (see note)
½ teaspoon cornstarch
1½ cups (355 grams) low-sodium vegetable or chicken broth or stock (see note)
2 tablespoons (28 grams) unsalted butter
2 tablespoons (25 grams) granulated white sugar
1 teaspoon Diamond Crystal kosher salt, plus more as needed
2 tablespoons finely minced fresh parsley or chives
¼ cup (30 grams) toasted slivered almonds
½ teaspoon freshly grated lemon zest
1 teaspoon freshly squeezed lemon juice
Freshly ground black pepper

    1. Stir the carrots and the cornstarch together in a 12-inch stainless steel skillet (not nonstick) until no clumps of cornstarch remain. Stir in the broth, butter, sugar, and salt. Bring to a boil over high heat, then reduce the heat to maintain a lively simmer. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the carrots are almost tender (they should have just a little resistance when tested with the tip of a sharp paring knife), about 10 to 15 minutes, depending on the size of your carrots.
    2. Raise the heat again and boil vigorously, stirring occasionally, until a spoon or spatula leaves a trail in the bottom of the pan and the sauce is reduced to a thick, shiny glaze, about 5 to 6 more minutes. I turn the heat down a few notches as I got closer to the end, so as not to accidentally reduce the sauce too much or burn the carrots.
    3. Remove the pan from the heat. Stir in the herbs, almonds, and lemon zest and juice. Season to taste with salt and pepper. Serve promptly. Serves 2 to 4 as a side.